If This Is Purity, Adulterate Me, Baby!

Cutting Edge's The Virgin Daughters:

A few thoughts:

A lot of the language and set-up of this is indistinguishable from the language and set-up of the husband-chasing reality TV shows; it's obvious that they share a lot of assumptions - that what a woman wants isn't sex per se, but the trappings of romance combined with physical opulence.  (I'm reminded of a friend of mine's recent discovery that an on-again off-again girlfriend of his was flirting heavily with him at a party at a ritzy hotel, despite him not having anything to do with the surroundings; it was the ritziness itself that was the turn-on for her.)  I find this disturbing, honestly, especially when connected with the idea that young men have to bribe a woman into a sexual relationship (whether marriage or otherwise).  There are other linguistic similarities, too - the constant references to "princesses"(which rhetorically makes the dads all kings here) and "fairy tales" (which at least acknowledge the unreality of it all, and do hardcore Christians really want fairie lore, with its fae godmothers and witches and other powerful independent magickal women, creeping around their daughters?).  The refrain of "you're beautiful" - it's almost as if they can't imagine a woman with any worth other than her beauty, although I imagine they'd argue that they're really talking about spiritual beauty.

When the dad asks, "How cool is that?" regarding a woman having only ever kissed one man, I legitimately wanted to throw up (even ignoring how much he coaches his daughter through the other interviews).  There's nothing cool about that at all.  Even if I were completely monogamously inclined, I can't imagine never sharing affection with other people.  These are, by and large, people who tend towards larger families, even if they're not technically Quiverfullers.  How can they imagine that love for your children can only get larger, but love for your, you know, lovers is finite and gets divided up?  Should a youngest child be hurt that zir parents have already given away their hearts to two, three, or more other children before them?  If hearts are large (and I agree that they are), they are large in all directions, not just in storge.  The mom agreeing with that kind of language is creepy, too - I understand having regrets over relationships that didn't work out, but that somehow translating into not having "a whole heart" for the man she married is nonsensical.

The whole "Daddy is everything for a little girl" motif reeks of emotional incest, as does the faux-marriage and the partnered dancing with the fathers.  The ownership paradigm is also out in full force - the girl passes from her father's "protection" into that of a young man whom the father has thoroughly vetted, his duly appointed substitute.  The pledge they read at the ball itself is pretty terrifying, as is the line "let me tell you who you are."  It's already a scary thing for a teen girl to be discovering her identity; confusing a father's paternal love with his desire to define you for yourself - that's pretty horrific.

I am a bad person; I laughed out loud at the line about the '70s being "milder" than now.  The Long Hangover was easily one of the most tumultuous times in US history; it's when the Silent Generation finally woke up.  The current mess is a mess, sure, but it's moderate by comparison.  Then again, several of the parents express deep regret for their histories - which would have happened in the '70s to the '90s.

"But what if you don't like the way he kisses?"  Ah, there's the rub.  This is all about a lack of female desire, an attempt to explain it away, to pretend it isn't there.  Girls don't care how a boy kisses; they care about the size of the diamond he puts on her finger.  Girls don't care if their husbands can't get them off, as long as they're good providers and put them up on a motherly pedestal.  What rubbish.  These men are afraid that if a girl has an orgasm, if she has preferences, if (God forbid) she has kinks or is queer, then their good Christian boys won't be able to satisfy her.  The womb belongs to their God, but a clitoris is the Devil's plaything (and the G-spot is Ashtoreth's terrain; also, perhaps, the mouth, considering that they put such deep emphasis on kissing).

There is one success story, in the girl who escaped - by the same deep magick of the uterus.  I only hope the other girls find their way out by less traumatic means, and that their parents manage to love them anyway.